First Day At our New School!

Today the girls started school at their new school.  After many months of praying and trying to figure out what we could do differently with the girls, the Lord opened the doors to send them to Santa Rosa Christian.  It is a private school, and one that I never imagined we would be able to send the girls to.  It it only the Lord that has made it possible, and we are truly thankful.  I have a job at the school as the kindergarten aide and the job has made it affordable for us.  As I watched the parents drop off their kindergartners today, I thought back to what it was like when the girls first went to their first days of school.... I remembered Makayla falling apart crying and her teacher scooping her up in her arms, and Abbey running around in circles all by herself as Chris and I wondered how she would make friends... all gut wrenching moments for me; today however was full of more of those moments.  Watching Makayla and Olivia standing off to the side not quite sure how to join in the middle school.  Abbey standing at the 3rd grade orange cone alone, while groups of other 3rd grade girls were huddled together laughing and talking... to be completely honest, my knee jerk reaction was that I wished I could scoop them up and drive them the half mile to their old public school where they know everyone and are completely comfortable.  However, as a Mom, part of loving our kids, isn't always doing what is "comfortable" for our kids, but what is the best for them... that is a mothers sacrificial love, putting our own hurting hearts aside so that our kids can grow.  As I have pondered this all day, I have thought a lot about my Heavenly Father.  I have asked Him many times and on several occasions over the years, "Why can't you take me out of this difficult situation?"  "If you love me, why do you stand by while I am hurting so much?"  Today, I think the Lord was showing me a bit of His heart for me.  I think there are times when the Lord looks at me... at us, and wishes that He could just scoop us up and place us where it is more comfortable... but He, in His wisdom, in His ultimate goodness, sees what is best for us, knows that certain situations, though maybe more comfortable, are not ultimately, the best He has for us.  

I am still processing the entire day.  The girls had some great moments, and some hard moments... all part of the transition to a new school...  I know they will be fine, I know that God has directed us, and opened the doors for this move, and so I trust Him.  I trust His Fathers heart that sometimes must allow the difficult moments!