Sharks and Mosquito Eaters

You know those big ugly bugs that fly really slow and fly like they're drunk, well in the Thompson house we call those Mosquito Eaters.  In our house they mostly fly on the ceiling and pretty much keep to themselves. 

Well, one of my daughters is extremely afraid of them.  I tried to explain to her that you can literally catch them by the leg and throw them outside... this is how docile they are.  She doesn't care, in her mind they are the creepiest thing in God's creation.  Oh my girl you have got to get over this.... 

(This coming from her mother who was to scared to take a bath when I was pregnant with her because of my fear of sharks!) 

Fill the Gaps

Parenting.... need I say more?

I felt like a pro at it at one time in my life.  Back when my opinions were their opinions,  they were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old, and parenting decisions included how to keep them from splashing in  the toilet, or "washing" the cat.

Am I the only one who feels that the parenting manual got left at the hospital?  Do situations ever come up for you where you have absolutely no idea what the correct response is?  The responsibility of raising three girls that you want to grow up loving the Lord, knowing how to "do hard", knowing how to love people, knowing how to make good decisions, balanced with wanting them to know how much you desperately love them, how far you would go to protect them, and how crazy you are about them, is not an easy path for me at times.  I find that lately, I am questioning myself all the time.  Was I too hard, was I not hard enough,  did I pick a fight I shouldn't have, now I've picked the fight do I  have to see it through? 

When they were all born, the realization hit me that my heart no longer belonged to myself, the thought of them hurting, felt in that moment, like it would kill me.  I naively thought that my girls would never,  for even a moment, feel things like rejection, loneliness, abandonment, or unloved.  Now however, I see them navigating through school, relationships, heart aches and decisions and I know that even hurting is part of this whole thing.  I can't make it all better, or fix it all.. and sometimes that scares me.  This transition from my little girls to women is hard to watch at times. They will go through those feelings, they will face those things,  and most of all... they have to know how to get on the other side of them.

Sigh... "am I doing it right Lord? ...  please fill in the gaps where I fall so very short? Please give me wisdom that only comes from You!"  That's my prayer tonight, and I know that as much as I love them, this is a grain of sand next to the Love their Father in Heaven has for them.  He can direct them through ANYTHING, He is the healer, the one with the real power to touch their hearts and heal the hurts in ways that I can't.  Fill in the gaps... please Heavenly Father... fill in the gaps.